The Worst Best

Im in a mood to blog because this whole morning i was in a hiyah-my-mouth-is-so-itchy-and-i-needed-somebody-to-talk-to-but-when-i-turn-to-gummy-bear-i'd-rather-shut-the-hell-up mood.

The reason i dont want to talk to her is...

I DONT FEEL LIKE TALKING TO HER.

What happened is, she went to interview five students yesterday for almost two periods and when she came back, she, sort of, instructed –inserts name-, let’s call her J, (if you read this, tell me what you want me to call you in mah blog tyvm) to give her glue back to her when J took her glue up just to snap a photo of it.

(We claim that her glue releases pungent smell wtf.)

We all got so surprised because she’s actually throwing a tantrum and she started to ignore us. So, I asked her what had happened that made her feel so awful and she said it was the interview. The students do not answer her questions and the other interviewers are not helpful at all. (I was thinking if they’re trying to stall so that they don’t have to get back to class. The slower it is, the better.)

And her words make me so angry because

IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO INFORM US THAT MEANS YOU CAN HANDLE THIS YOURSELF. SO WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU THROWING A TANTRUM AT US BECAUSE YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT WELL AND WASTED ALL YOUR PRECIOUS PERIODS? YOU DONT WANT TO TELL US THEN YOU DO IT YOURSELF AND PROVE IT TO THE TEACHERS THAT YOU'RE A PRO AND YOU DONT NEED OUR HELP LAH WTF.

After that i started another topic as she mentioned that we’re not that closed like how we used to. I put the blame on Sub while she puts the blame on J.

She said I’m closer to J than i am to her. I said i was closed to J since last year and she didnt seem to be bothered. And she replied, ‘No you’re closed to her since this year but not last year.’ She persisted so I asked her what made her think liddat.

Okay now here’s the second point which infuriates me.

'Because she’s in a broke-up phase and perhaps you two are on the same frequency. But I’m not, so you’ll think I’m showing off how happily I am with Sub now,' she replied.

And I was like…

WTF. (I mean it.) YOU THINK TWO OF US ARE SO CLOSE BECAUSE WE BOTH ARE IN A BROKE-UP PHASE? (Im sorry but, how long WAS i in a broke-up phase? -_- )SO WHAT WE TWO DO ALL THE TIME IS BAD-MOUTHING THE TWO BLOODY GUYS?

Yeah very well. But come on lah, we'll do something much more interesting than to bad-mouth the others loh! Moron.

And I think i dont understand gummy bear like how i used to. Nor she me. Because she seems to keep all the secrets to her ownself.

If you feel like doing so, GO AHEAD LAH I DONT MIND.

I say she chooses Sub over and i dont like it in a least bit. She retorts and says that she does not.

So tell me why im not even slightly informed about that bloody interview? (She says she didnt tell him. It's him who peeps at the list accidentally so it turns out he knows it but i dont. Yeah, yeah. Like i would believe you.)

Tell me why do you left the little fan, which i gave it to you, in your drawer and you took his bear/flower back home happily?

Tell me why dont you use my key-chain but you use his on the second day after receiving it?

And you honestly think you'll go and visit us during CF if he's not there?

I know you're thinking that i should ask her all these. But the answer is : I'll cry.

I cant argue or just to stand on my own side firmly because i'll eventually cry in the middle of that sodding argue.

I know, a loser i am.

I even cried when i was watching Rapunzel. -_- Now you geddit?

Okay, back to there. She told me if she were to choose either Sub or me, she will choose me.

And i felt like crying again.

Mind you, it's not touched or whatsoever. It's because I felt like being lied to.

CAN YOU PLEASE DONT RANK ME AS A THREE-YEAR-OLD? IF THAT HAPPENS, IM SURE YOU CERTAINLY WILL CHOOSE HIM OVER ME LOH. SO, NO WORRIES OKAY?

I know im being evil and bad-mouthing her because everyone thinks she, of all people knows me well and she's my very BEST friend. But please, dont you ever think im the luckiest bitch in the world because she's my BEST friend. There're more i feel about her. But i will not write them over here. Afraid that i'll scare the shit off you wtf.

Hey look over here. She WAS my best friend. Now geddit?

To be honest, i will NOT ask her out after our graduation. Thankyouverymuch.

p/s : Dont ask if im insane, i had this feeling long before i spit it out here.

p/p/s : Im sure if she sees this, she'll cry her eyes out wtf.

p/p/p/s : Now Im sure you DO get to know me more.