I IZ A CHOE. YOU NO ME? I LIVE INSIDE A BOX. WOO-HOO HELLO GREYSON CHANCE. SOMEWHERE DARK AND I ONLY GET TO SEE THE LIGHT WHEN SOMEONE COMES IN. NO SUFFICIENT OXYGEN FOR ME EVEN THOUGH I DONT HAB A LUNG. THERE ARE SALESGIRLS SOMETIMES COME TO GET ME FWIENDS. KNOWING THEY ARE NOT CUMING BACK, I IZ SO DEPRESSED. I HAZ NO FWIENDS! I HAZ GOT NO ONE TO TALK TO!
ONE DAY, THE PWEETY SALESLADY COMES IN AND GET ME. I IZ HAPPY. VELI HAPPY, COS I THINK I IZ GOING TO EMBRACE FREEDOM SOON. THAT LADY PUTS ME ON THE FLOOR FOR THE LITTLE GIRL. AND WHEN SHE SLIPS HER FOOT ONTO MY BACK, IT FEELS WEIRD. LIKE I IZ HAVING SOME UNCOMFORTABLE MASSAGE. AND WORST OF ALL, HER FOOT SMELLS REVOLTING. I DUNNOH HOW MY PARTNER, AS IN A PAIR, NOT A COUPLE GEDDIT RIGHT, FELT BUT I NO LIKE IT IN A LEAST BIT. I IZ IN A DILEMMA. I WANT TO BE SOLD BUT I DONT WANT TO BE SOLD. VELI CONFUSING SORRY. BUT THEN, THAT LITTLE-GIRL-WITH-SMELLY-FOOT REMOVES HER FOOT FROM ME. OH MY GOD. THIS IS BETTER. SO MUCH BETTER. *GASPS
THAT GIRL REFUSES TO GET ME. SO I IZ SENT INTO THE DARK ROOM AGAIN. LYING CONSCIOUSLY IS AWFUL. I FEEL LIKE DYING BUT I DONT HAB A LIFE AFTER ALL. ALL I CAN DO IZ LISTEN TO THE SONGS PLAYED IN THE STORE, WHICH IZ KIND OF BORING WHEN YOU HAB TO LISTEN TO FIFTY SONGS WHICH KEEP REPEATING BY THE STORE OWNER. I IZ PLEASED WIT MESELF COS I CAN MEMORISE ALL THE LYRICS AND I KEN SING THEM OUT LOUD WITHOUT THINKING. *FLINGS ME HAIR AS IF I HAZ ONE
IT FEELS LIKE ONLY THWEE SECONDS, AND IT FEELS LIKE THWEE YEARS, WHEN ANOTHER SALESLADY COMES IN TO GET ME AGAIN. I IZ PRAYING HARD NOT TO BE WORE BY ANOTHER GIRL WITH SMELLY FOOT. I DONT WANT TO BE WORE BY PEOPLE LIKE THAT. I REALLY DONT! YOU COULD FEEL WHAT I FELT WHEN YOU STUFF YEH NOSE INTO A RUBBISH TRASH WITH LOADS OF BANANA PEELS AND PRAWNS' COATS AND ALL SORTS OF ODD COMBINATIONS.
SO ANYWAY, WHEN SHE SLIPS HER FOOT ON TO MY BACK, I FEEL OK. SHE RUBS HER TOES ON MY BACK AND I FEEL AWESOME! YEAH BABY! =D
ERR DOES TIS SOUND A LITTLE WEIRD? I IZ A CHOE!
SHE DECIDED TO BUY MEH. I IZ SO EXCITED! FINALLY, ME, A CHOE, IZ HAVING A MASTEH! O-HA-HA-HA-HA. SHE PUTS ME ON THE CASH REGISTER AND I MEET ONE OF MY ROOMMATES.
'NAUGHTY NAUGHTY', HE SAYS.
'WHAAAT?', I ASK. TRULY DONT UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD HE'S SAID. EVEN THOUGH HE'S REPEATING THE SAME WORD TWICE WHICH MEANS THERE'S ONLY A WORD.
'GETTING SOLD MY DEAR!' HE CONTINUES.
'MY DEAR?' I ECHO. WHEN ON EARTH DID I BECOME HIS DEAR? BUH. *ROLLS EYES
'IT IZ LIKE TALKING TO A BRICK WALL', HE TURNS AWAY.
FINE, I DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM ANYWAY. SO I IZ NOT BOTHERED TO ASK FOR FURTHER EXPLANATION. MY MASTEH PAY FOR ME AND I IZ PACKED INSIDE A PLASTIC BAG. WOO-HOO HELLO KATY PERRY. I IZ OFFICIALLY SOLD!
MASTER SWINGS ME IN THE PLASTIC BAG BACK AND FORTH ON THE WAY HOME. AT FIRST IT IZ FUN, LIKE SITTING ON A SWING. BUT IZ NOT AFTER FIVE MINUTES. AND WHEN I GET INTO THE CAR, MASTEH'S DADDY'S CAR, I CAN SEE EVERYTHING SPINNING. LITERALLY, SPINNING. INCLUDING THE TYRES. DONT ASK ME HOW CAN I SEE THE TYRES OK!! I IZ NARRATING ME FEELINGS! BUT I THINK THE TYRES ARE NOT SPINNING BECAUSE THEY ARE SPINNING.
HA-HA-HA YOU ARE CONFUSED. OK IT IZ ALL FER TODAY. I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER BEFORE ME MASTEH NOTICE ME IZ SECRETELY USING HER BLOG. I WILL UPDATE NEXT TIME WHEN MASTEH IS NOT AROUND.
GOODBAI. *RUNS AWAY
No comments:
Post a Comment