Which way??

No idea how to get started. So much thoughts in my mind, yet no idea how to express them, let alone speaking them out loud. Some of my friends are going to colleges soon. I mean real soon, in no time at all. You get that picture.

And me? Odds of me being chosen for Matriculation are slim, though i wouldnt say none. Hence Form 6 is the only, and also the best choice. Why Form 6? Why not colleges?
1. Fees.
2. Which way to go????

That explain all.

I have no idea which course should i take. No doubt i love Science. In the sense of love, i mean i do love gaining knowledge, but exams?? saving lives???? making big impacts for the world?????? Thanks but no thanks. Im not born for that.

More often than not, i get so exhausted of living up to everyone's expectations. Just because im doing fine for F4 and 5 doenst mean that im not under lots of pressure. Peer pressure, maybe. Or is it plain pressure from i myself? Whenever i got so depressed of studying, i try to think about my dreams. Sometimes it works but undoubtedly, talking to my friends helps more.

People have this wrong idea that we shouldnt choose any other pathway just because we're doing fine with Science. Why not business? Why not hotel management? Why not interior design? Why not culinary art? There're no such courses provided in secondary school and hence we're choosing Science instead of Accounts and Arts. Come to think of it, i've actually filled in Art class as my second choice for Form 4. Why not the first choice? Because im afraid of letting my family down. And, sorry if i sound arrogant, i have confidence that i wont be chosen for Art class. Really. I think the teachers would talk me into taking Science even if i insisted taking Art. Can you see my point? Urgh i really suck at explaining things.

My parents wanted my bro to promote me to go straight to USM instead of spending two years for Form 6. I was scared when i heard this. I really was. But my bro and i sort of have this heart and soul thingy although we dont talk much lol. He asked if i've decided which course to choose, what dreams to pursue?

Exactly.

I. Am. No. Doctor. Nor am i some kind of super holiao accountant.

I asked for an ordinary life since the day i was born. Why cant i be a normal OL? Just dealing with paperwork? I dunno. Dodo always tells me that i may not be having a job related to what i've studied for these years. True. So what if i choose Biology and some day in the future im a designer? Does my hard work pay everything off? I know i didnt waste my time studying but i have no intentions to be something i dont want to be. Damn it's so depressing thinking all these. I know my friends have been real helpful and supportive, introducing lotsa interesting courses and asking me to pursue my dream at the same time. But i still cant make my mind up.

Well, if i really gotta choose, which to? Medicine sounds good. Radiation therapy sounds cool. Bioscience seems interesting. White biotech, which i just Wiki-ed, sorta caught my eyes. Or dietitian/nutritionist, which is what i think i love the most?

Which way to go? I truly believe i can do well in whichever field, as long as i want to. So i've got to choose one that worth all my hard work and time, right? See im kiasu like that. Accommodate my plans to earn a living. I disgust myself, lol.

Tired of trying to figure things out. Not hoping anyone to get me out of here, just plain sharing and whining lol, since everyone has their own fair share of problems. Things had looked pretty bad there for a while. But isnt it funny how everything kind of works itself out in the end?